Definitely mono

Mom took me to the hospital.

I couldn't breathe or swallow. That's not exactly normal.

Waited an hour in the waiting room...

Then got called up for triage

"What's the problem?"
"I have mono!" in the brightest, cheeriest voice I could muster. (I sounded like Mary Sunshine)
"You don't know for certain that you have mono." (Thanks Mom)
"Well, the doctor says I fulfill all the symptoms"

The triage nurse amused me with stories of when her own daughter had mono. "And she had all these white strings hanging down the back of her throat!"

I don't have white stringy things hanging down the back of my throat.

Then sat down for another hour.
Went to the examination room, doctor came twenty minutes later.
Asked all the usual questions.
The light examination thingie for my nose did not want to go up there. He must have dropped at least four caps on the floor. This causes Mom to burst out in hysterical giggles.

He went to get my results...and we waited almost two hours for him.

"Yep, you have mono"

It takes him two hours to tell us that? Why couldn't he say "I'm working with three other patients right now, I might be a while?"

We saw people who got called after us walk out.

It's like you go to a restaurant, and you see people who came in AFTER you get served first...and they're eating dessert while you're still waiting to give your order.

So he said my spleen and liver and enlarged, but in no chance of rupturing unless I start repeatedly hitting myself in the side. He can't give me meds because I have a virus (stupid virus). If it gets any worse, they'll give me steroids, but that's as a last resort.

I'm allowed to take three (3!) advil at a time. I feel so rebellious, because the bottle only says to take 2. TAKE THAT ADVIL!

We got a nifty steamer to help me breathe.

Luckily, he said if today wasn't the worst, tomorrow will be, and then I'll start feeling better. I hope so!